Be sure you want to know the truth. Truth can hurt. Yet, truth can also raise reality, causing one to face their greatest fears.
Today I found out my youngest saw me at her graduation from community college last June. My ex and I were talking about our kids’ feeling abandoned by me. I shared that though she didn’t know I was at her graduation, I wanted to be there because I love her. He corrected me and said she knew, that she had spotted me in the big crowd of proud parents, siblings and supportive family and friends. When I asked my ex what she said when she told him she saw I was there, he hesitated. I asked to please tell me. “What is she doing here?”, she remarked. Her dad said it was a public ceremony, no invites necessary and said her mom had every right to be there.
As stated, truth can hurt.
A year ago that statement would’ve devastated me. Though a tear or two appeared, I remembered her truth differs from mine and the tears subsided as quickly as they came. My self-worth is not determined by the love and acceptance of my girls. It’s been a slow yet purposeful cycle getting to this point. How they feel towards me doesn’t affect my love for them. It simply hurts. And I’m facing my hurt head on.
I saw my therapist early this week. Been over a year since my last visit. Was compelled to reach out after reading my youngest girl’s blog post. Tough and meaningful session. Still absorbing and will share soon. Important lessons revealed.
Life as I know it. Today. 
if you had insisted on talking to her and being a part of the day yes you would have been infringing and making it about you instead of her but you respected her wishes that she doesn’t wish to interact with you – there was nothing wrong with you attending she IS your daughter she came out of your body and nothing will ever change that – I understand your daughters are hurt but I can’t understand how all the good things you did as their mother have been totally negated by having affairs – I can only hope that they talk to someone someday who can help them accept that everyone is imperfect