Heart is Wide Open

Woke up to this email earlier today:

You are leading with your heart… . .and that is the best you can do.  You have been working hard to make amends, we all make mistakes and that is what makes us better and stronger, not weak.  I admire your courage and tenacity.

Ironic as I was going to email my therapist and ask if I could see her tomorrow, a week earlier than our scheduled appointment next Monday. I suppose I am doing the best that I can do, though I do not feel courageous, strong nor tenacious. I am exhausted.I feel depleted and tired. But today I do not feel sorry for myself. I am sad without self-pity. That’s due in part the love I feel for my children. It is the love that is more powerful than any sadness can bring. 

What I am learning is that my heart is wide open. Its rawness, I can not contain. I can not suppress what it feels. It is bigger than myself. Vulnerable in ways I have not experienced before, sometimes I don’t know what to do with the depth of what I feel.

I just keep feeling. Everything. And move forward. 

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About Carin

Writing is for me, though sharing with others, is a gift.

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