Close A Door, Open Another

“Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with new self-respect, with new power, and with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.” ~ Emerson

It is not merely enough to wish something away. While obvious, the desire masks the responsibility of taking action, the cause and effect of an actual result. So it came to be I decided to do just that – took deliberate action.

A man, part of my past, a time of deception, pain and self-doubt, no longer invited in my life...the decision, the action of verbal request, I said adieu, with self-respect, conviction and quiet strength. I slammed the door. This decision comes with sacrifice, yet most change of significance usually does. Wounds to not close rapidly. Yet, self-discovery dictates I am no longer willing to make things right for everything negative in my past, I choose to simply let go – and the healing feels sublime; wounds are healing, replaced with beauty and light-heartedness. The self opens wider, making room for the new….

Thus, in the same breath, the same day, another enters a new door this time, gratitude, a reward of sorts for I am prepared to give as I desire – with the openness, honesty, sincerity of who I am.  A new friend, a reminder of all things right in this world, an opportunity to remove myself long enough to truly experience the gift of caring in the way I desire; not about me or my needs but those of others. My discovery of self requires self-introspection, though the irony, more I give to  myself allows the freedom to give wholly, without sense of obligation or duty.

Connections come with surprises. She, my new friend, reached out, asked for help, an upcoming surgical procedure and I am open, prepared to give her what is deserved. Even in her pain, there is great strength from within. She touches me so, as she is not aware of what she has already given me: a renewed belief in humanity, the spirit of compassion, the joy of listening.

The shifting of doors, a common analogy, its meaning, profound. They revolve, swing, slam and shut, providing us the opportunity to let go what is known from our past, to break open new ones, uncertain of the future, what lies ahead. The power comes from choice. Thanks to Monty Hall, there’s at least three to choose from.

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About Carin

Writing is for me, though sharing with others, is a gift.

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